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ADHD Contractors

The major ice storm that hit New England last week brought a large oak-tree limb down on our roof. We were lucky that the heavy butt end trailed as it fell over 20 feet, but the dozens of smaller branches, which led the way down and cushioned the blow to the roof over our bedroom, punctured the rubber membrane in over 35 places; rain poured in and we scrambled to get buckets into the attic to stem the flow and minimize the damage.

The next morning I caught my neighbor on his way out for coffee and asked for a referral to a roofer. Imagine my surprise when the call was answered and a nice young guy with a coffee cup clutched in his hand showed up within 20 minutes. The two of us inspected the roof and made arrangements for temporary repairs to be done, probably that afternoon, or maybe the next day.
So it began; one vague appointment after another for three days as the forecast for rain began to sweep away our casualness. I found myself picking at my concern, unable to relax and enjoy the warm clear weather that followed the storm. My wife and I, we both work with clients with ADHD, considered the timing and level of pushiness we would bring to the next phone call; didn’t want to alienate, but wanted to keep the deadline pressure on. How silly of us to worry. There he was the day rain was forecast and the repairs were all finished at least two hours before the drizzle started.
 
As a coach, I have permission to point out issues and encourage behavior changes, but as a home owner I felt trapped without my formal tools. The situation became an experimental lab to test the techniques I teach to spouses and work colleagues of individuals with ADHD. The approaches worked; I suppose I should be delighted at the opportunity to get in more practice on what I teach. The trouble is I’ve lived in a world of other people’s ADHD for many years, I know the approaches work and all I wanted this time was my roof fixed.
 
What did I learn? I liked the roofer a lot, and I need to start my next contractor relationship with a clearer agreement on the timing and on my need for him to check in if the plan is going to change. I also want to relax a bit more about how things get done in my world. I worried some over three days and I really only needed to just pick up the phone and ask.